The whole month of November has so far been the best month this year. Ever since November 1st, ny crush Alek and I have been talking and I guess you could say flirting. Hes grounded though and actually expelled from school. Its kind of a funny story but its a friend to friend thing so Im gonna leave it out. Anyway, he always textes me first and always uses smiley faces when he texts me and he will text me all day even after we both know the conversation died. If I told how long Ive liked him for, you would be disappointed in me. Either way, we have been friends since April 2012 and he dated my friend twice. Once then and once a few months ago. I dated 3 of his friends, one being his legit best friend and 2 being just friends. I dont understand why he even wants anything to do with me because if his friends didnt even wanna be with me, why would he..? I honestly dont care though. Our past is our past..it should be left there and forgotten about. I find this funny, the best friend of his that I dated came up to me at lunch last week and was questioning why I liked Alek. Its was so obvious he was jealous though. We laughed together as he questioned me and it was nice because that we like the legit first time we have talked since we broke up like 2 months ago. Its like everyone but Alek knows I like him. Like, I cant even walk through school without having a mutual friend of ours come up and ask me why I like him. My thoughts are, is it that obvious or does he talk about me or is it that shocking I like him? Honestly, part of me doesnt wanna know the answers to those questions, but part of me does. Either way, he said he should be getting ungrounded soon (hes been grounded for like a month) and he will come hangout with me. I can not wait for that day to come. I like him so much and I am seriously trying so hard not to screw this up..
Lately, I have been fighting my depression and struggling with those around me. My crush(I guess you could call him) Kyle, led me on. See, I dated Kyle in the past. We were together for 10 months and I gave him everything. Yes, that does include my virginity. I loved him with all of my heart and in the beginning of June 2012, he broke up with me for no reason. I was hurt and once school started up, we started talking again. Of course me being a girl with a broken heart, fell for him again. A few days ago, he told me how he truly felt because this one girl, Amber, started saying stuff about me on Twitter and how I just needed to move on and all that and all her post made me text him and straight up ask how how he felt. Yeah, I do wish I didnt text him but at least i found out now and not later when my heart was more involved. On another note, my mom and me have been fighting more then usual. We have a daily fight every day and sometimes it doesnt end well. As it is now, I am currently living at my dad's because she kicked me out. Oh and then my so called "friends" almost destroyed not only my life but my brother Scott's life by getting in an argument with him. Now, my friends are mad at me because I didnt stand up for them when they were fighting with my brother. I mean, I did love my friends but I think I need to take them out of my life because my family means the world to me and I dont think I should be friends with people who have problems with my family. I dont know. All I do know is that I dont even feel like a person. I feel like I lost everything. All I want right now is for one thing, just one thing, to go right.
Previous PostsFinally Happiness(:, posted November 17th, 2012
Alone, posted October 12th, 2012
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